Laughter: the Best Medicine

My little sister recently skype-interviewed me during her fifth-grade class, wanting to know about my "career" teaching English in South Korea. Talking about ME having a career sort of freaked me out. But in honor of my temporary occupation, I thought I'd post some highlights from said career. These are mostly quotations I pulled from elementary level (2-5 grade) writing assignments, and this is totally what gets me through some of those mundane days as a teacher. As the finale, I posted a hilarious essay in its entirety. All entries are posted with original spelling and grammatical and etc errors.

Help S.O.S
To get out of hunger we should give them foods. If you buy a tomato it could be helpful to send 2 tomatos. There is really many ways to help Africans. Like, sending books, opening schools, give them hopes. Hope is the best! -[Jaewoo, R4, from an essay on what he can do to help and serve his community and the world at lasrge].


“If You Burn Money, You Will Become Poor”
And if you become poor, you will have sicknesses. It is because if you are poor, you’ll have to sleep outside where dity things are. -[Elly, R5, from a "cause and effect" writing assignment].

Hi? President Obama,
Nice to meet you. I am Eddy. I am giving you this letter because of my Grammar homework. Ooops, sorry. I didn’t tell this. I live in Korea. Now, I will question few questions. Ow did you be a candidate? How did you get a Lobel Prize? Do you want to see your Uncle? (because seeing your uncle was the first and last). It is finished. My wish is you answering the questions. P.S. I want to be president like you. -[Eddy Cheong, Rs2-1, from a letter to President Obama. This was one of a handful of equally and even more hilarious such letters, some complete with clippings of the Chief with his family and vibrant comment-captions. Possibly the winning quotation from Hannah: "I am surprised you won because you are black"].

To victor
You grow up so poor
But now you work hard
You are use to doing your job
Busy three jobs
You have heart of gold
And you are healthy
You are nice
You are in seventh Heaven
And you help the baby so you
Have a heart of gold

-[Ariel, formerly RS2-3, from an assignment to write a journal entry. I'm really not sure why she produced this because it wasn't even her typical work. I could be wrong, but I think she copied it from one of those 5-n-10 notebooks with an awful translation of a cheesy love poem on the cover].


My Lovely Dad

Do you like your dad? All children have their father, but some children doesn’t have dad. I will tell you about my dad.
My dad’s nickname is ‘monster’ because he likes beer and if he drinks beer he is doing everything like a monster, but I likes he sometimes because he drinks beef very much sometimes he gives money to my sister and me. And I can go to PC Room, but my mom is really weird because if my dad is giving money to us she is hitting dad and says like “you idiot!” and he catch his eye and fighting. When I’m looking mom, dad’ re fighting I thinking about dog and eat’ re fighting and cat is winning. I don’t like this time and next time my mom ask to my dad like “do yu know what did you do yesterday night?” of course my dad going to be dangerous. Now I will tell you about how looks like my dad. My dad has lots of pimple like a really mad toad and he has really short beard. If I touch that I thinking about needle. Sometimes he drank beer his teeth are yellow like corns and his mouth smell are someone wear socks 100years. And If he goes to a beauty salon he says “please do not cut the whiskers” I think he’s thinking he is some idol star But I like this dad!! -[Cindy Cho, R5, from a writing assignment to "describe someone you know"].

[When teaching in Seoul, do as the children do].