Keep your arms high and your spirits higher

Photo: DJ LA Riots, where I danced at Enclave's Lolla afterparty on Friday. NICE beats!

Best Ways to Sneak Into Lollapalooza:

1. Fly.
2. Case the joint yourself and find a weak spot.
3. Swing like Spiderman from the Congress Hotel across the street.
4. Impersonate some band and create a diversion before entering freely.
5. Build a giant catapult and vault over the fence.
6. Gang up on me and beat me up, take my uniform and wristband, divide it all amongst yourselves, and enter the park.
7. Bribe me with a thousand dollars.
8. Call a member of an obscure band you know and have their agent escort you.
9. Convince me with your wit and geniality and kisses.
10. Grab me some of that free energy drink being distributed from the truck cruising down Michigan Avenue and I’ll tell you.

You always hear about the ninety thousand people, Ray-Bans and overalls, Indian headdresses, T-shirts from every band imaginable, lobster corndogs, muddy port-o-potties, mud-stained Chucks, male nipples prevalent at Lollapalooza.
Fashion reigns a la individuality at Lollapalooza

This year, I volunteered to work (13.5-ish hours throughout three days) so I could attend for free, and it was a great decision. There’s too much to see, all overlapping each other’s time slots, and located at opposite ends of the (320 acre) park. But I got to see some of Lollapalooza the average attendee doesn’t get to see and I had all kinds of spiffy entrepreneurial ideas for how to capitalize on Lolla (Thereby paying for not only my tickets but also the mass vinyls, Lolla-phanalia, and food/beverage I’d like to procure)!

Best ways to make bank at Lolla:
1. Buy extra tickets to scalp for hefty profit on the sidewalks. I was offered $300 for my staff bracelet (one day only) on Saturday afternoon, but I would have been volunteer blacklisted (and it wasn’t even tempting. I really wanted to hear music).
2. Sneak in a sack-full of cigarette packs (and lighters) and sell ‘em. They don’t sell those things, but everyone wants them. Nine or ten bucks a pack and you make bank! (I’d import from DeKalb where they’re cheaper).
3. Repeat above using small flasks of alcohol. Security can get really lazy.
4. Buy Lolla-wear inside and hawk it on the sidewalks (again, hefty profit margins). I can’t tell you how many tourists approached me while I was working to ask if they could buy shirts outside. They couldn’t. But I could!

Oh, yeah. There was also music at Lollapalooza.

Friday, the first band I saw was Delta Spirit (the leader looks like a cross between Johnny Depp and Leo DiCaprio), Foster the People, who said they’d never played for such a big crowd, lead singer wore a white collared shirt which was drenched not long into the inspiring show (behind which me a group of weed-reeking bros sang along with every word—later, I bought the vinyl), then blitzed across the park and caught the end of the Smith Westerns (unmemorable) before rocking out of one of my favorite acts of the weekend, The Kills (who provide that true rock experience. The Mountain Goats were a bit of a disappointment live, as the crowd wasn’t into it and they only did a few songs I knew (they’re too much balladeers for the Lolla venue). I stayed nearby and chilled during Bright Eyes which was a great act warming up for Coldplay.



Here's a terrible video I tried to make while also rocking out. Fail.

Here's a much better video from someone else who clearly doesn't like The Kills enough to rock out to them while recording.

Coldplay had a great concert, starting with a recording of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” while setting up, and complete with fireworks and balloons. They played a number of excellent crowd pleasers, and Chris Martin sweat enough for his entire band plus one. I’m surprised it’s not called the Chris Martin Band: the man is a frantic antic the entire show, and I barely remember seeing the rest of the guys. The show was a bit slow though, simply because Coldplay, to me, all sounds the same after a while. There was a cool graffiti piano though, and I had a pretty nice spot smashed in between bros and hos.

You slay me, Coldplay.


The next day I had time to kill before the work shift, but no one I had heard of or particularly “had” to see. So I wandered around and found J. Roddy Walston and The Business. Started with a country rock feel, and ended up being a pretty fun time. Couple people ditched shoes and whipped out their frisbees and hula hoops, and it felt like a real music fest for a while. An Horse was a cool Australian duo (I do love chicks who can rock electric guitars) who played under the scent of a woodchip covered concert ground when the day’s rain first started. Chico Trujillo was a fantastic high-energy mariachi-meets-reggaetone group from Chile, complete with eclectic costumes (flannel + swim trunks, holla!). Friendly Fires was a cool indie-rock UK band, but wandering over the Citi lounge tent to find a place to nap, Super Mash Bros next door at Parry’s totally hooked me.

I had to work after that, but later I booked it Lykke Li to catch a glimpse and a few melodious strains. Her stage was packed out though so I ended up listening while buying a mango-pineapple smoothie then going to Eminem. He packed out the standing space for TWO big stages plus the in-between and surrounding embankments. The most entertaining part of the show was watching girls in the front row (via TV screen) crying and singing and rapping their lungs out along with his every word. It was the fastest hour and a half of the entire weekend. But overall I felt somewhat gypped, and didn’t care for DJ Kon Artis’ bodyguart presence and album sale pitches. Bruno Mars also made a cameo, and Eminem chugged half a bottle of vodka on stage. That’s Recovery for you.

Sunday kicked off with Gold Motel, and for a feel-good, breezy, group they’re pretty solid (I do wonder how they’re all from Chicago and sing about California all the time. Kind of reminds me of myself). After a very long hot work shift I caught the second half of Flogging Molly with their Irish rock n’ roll, and absolutely rolicking time of Celtic tunes, dancing and revelry. Made me miss my Maeve! After the morning’s rain and a few earlier shows the field was turning into a mudpit/cesspool and the early drunks were already plastered in it, but spirits were high even as storm clouds rolled back in. Cage the Elephant played across the way and I caught a bit of it, but was too distracted at this point to get the full benefit of what seemed to be another energetic rock show. From there I made it to the second half of Portugal, the Man, of whom I’d bought a vinyl earlier and won the right to have it autographed later. I didn’t get to hear as much of the show as I wanted, but they closed with a cover of Oasis’ “Don’t Look Back in Anger” (one of the best noraebang songs ever!) and I was sold. As they finished the skies opened and the pounding rain delayed the next Arctic Monkeys show by nearly half an hour (screwing up my already tight itinerary). Concert etiquette was nearly nonexistent by this point, and a crowded, shivering crowd peppered with eye-stabbing umbrellas and riddled with lines of muddy idiots going and (worse) coming makes for a distracted and frustrated atmosphere. But the Australian band did well in their shortened time and once the old ladies in the crowd closed their umbrellas and everyone’s lighters started working again, it was a good show.

I took a break to spike a Maui smoothie and grab a vegan burger and then headed to possibly my favorite rave at Lolla this year. As we inched our way through inches of mud and layers of smoky haze toward the front, the rain hit again, this time in hail-esque sheets. Everyone groaned, expecting another horrible weather delay and freezing, frustrating wait. We still had 10 minutes to go before Deadmau5 was even supposed to show. But as the rain swept over us in torrents, his lights suddenly went on, and a beat dropped. He was on!

It was magnificent. That LED face: those glittery eyes and freaky mouth of lights. Those ears that you can see even in the dark behind thousands of gyrating bodies. That ironic kitty T shirt. That voice; that magnificent, flawless electronic entrancement. It was absolutely wild, and I felt anything but freezing. In fact, once we were all jumping and screaming, I couldn’t even feel the rain, I could only see it, far above me. I don’t think it ever touched the ground. And I wouldn’t have, either, only my feet were stuck in the mud. I managed to rave just fine, though. Deadmau5 isn’t dead. He’s SICK.

“Hold your wristbands high: the higher the better at Lollapalooza.”